Assertiveness Skills

Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s thoughts, feelings, and needs in a confident and direct manner without offending or hurting others. It is an essential skill for children to develop as it helps them build healthy relationships, set clear boundaries, and effectively communicate their needs.

Here are some ways a child can learn to be assertive:

  1. Teach them to speak up for themselves: Encourage children to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs when they feel like they are being treated unfairly or when someone else is trying to impose their will on them.
  2. Model assertiveness: Children learn from observing others, so it’s important to model assertiveness in your own behavior. This can be done by demonstrating how to set boundaries and say “no” when necessary.
  3. Encourage self-confidence: Children who feel confident in themselves are more likely to be assertive. You can help your child develop self-confidence by praising their accomplishments and encouraging them to try new things.
  4. Teach them about assertiveness skills: Children can learn about assertiveness by reading books, watching videos, and participating in role-playing activities.

The importance of assertiveness in children cannot be overstated. When children are assertive, they are able to:

  1. Establish healthy relationships: Assertiveness helps children build strong, healthy relationships by allowing them to communicate effectively with others.
  2. Develop self-confidence: Being assertive helps children feel confident in their abilities and opinions, which in turn boosts their self-esteem.
  3. Set clear boundaries: Assertiveness helps children establish clear boundaries and learn to say “no” when necessary. This can help prevent them from being taken advantage of or being manipulated by others.
  4. Improve communication skills: Assertiveness helps children improve their communication skills, which is essential for success in life.

A few more tips for Assertiveness

  1. Teach them to use “I” statements: Encourage them to express their opinions and feelings in a way that does not attack the other person. For example, “I feel upset when you do not listen to me” instead of “You never listen to me”.
  2. Practice active listening: Teach them to listen to others and respect their opinions, even if they differ. This helps the child understand how to communicate assertively while still being respectful to others.
  3. Role-play: Encourage the child to practice communicating assertively in role-play scenarios. This helps them get used to expressing themselves and also helps them understand when they are not being assertive.
  4. Teach them to stay calm: Assertiveness requires staying calm, even when others are being aggressive. Teach the child to take deep breaths and remain calm when communicating their views.
  5. Encourage them to compromise: Sometimes, it may be necessary for the child to compromise in order to reach an agreement. Teach them to be open-minded and find common ground.
  6. Reinforce good behavior: Reward and praise the child when they communicate assertively and calmly. This helps them understand that assertiveness is a positive behavior that is valued.
  7. Lead by example: Children learn from the behavior of those around them. Model assertiveness yourself by expressing your own opinions and feelings in a calm and respectful manner.

In conclusion, assertiveness is a critical skill for children to develop. It helps them build healthy relationships, set clear boundaries, communicate effectively, and improve their self-confidence.


  1. “Assertiveness for Kids.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, LLC,
  2. “How to Teach Your Child to Be Assertive.” Aha! Parenting,